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There, I’ve said it. 

What are you thinking right now? 

“Oh no, this girl is whackadoo. I need to unlike her Facebook page asap lest anyone think I’m a religious fanatic by association.”

“Oh no, she uses words like lest so she must be a nutjob!” :-D

“Nancy has crossed over to the darkside.”

“She has been lured into a cult.”

“Will she use crucifixes and rosary beads if I go to her for Reiki or coaching?”

“Nancy is going to recite passages from the bible next time we go out for dinner.”

“We need to save Nancy from herself.”

You may be thinking one or all of the above or you may have your our version of the same. However all I ask is that you read this blog to the end then you are free to take whatever action you feel is appropriate. 

This is my day to come out of the spirituality closet.

I LOVE GOD - How can three simple words create such fear and anguish? 

I haven’t written a blog in weeks. Not because I had no time and not because I had no ideas – although my fearful self, my ego, threw these excuses at me (and more) every time I sat down to write. But today after hearing about the attacks in Nice, my soul will not let me sleep until I write this blog. It’s now 3 o’clock in the morning and it will probably be hours till I’m finished but these words need to come up and out of my body today, right now. 

The truth is that most of what I want to write about is not mainstream, some of it is controversial, so of course I may be setting myself up for judgement and ridicule. However my site, my mission is called Your Inner Truth and my passion for this mission is much larger than the fear that fuels my ego. So here it goes.

Hurt People, Hurt People

In reality we all have a closet we are longing to come out of. We ache for people to see us exposed for who we really are and to accept us for it but that rarely happens. So we tuck our non-popular beliefs, wants and needs deep inside and point the finger to deflect attention away from ourselves. We judge and shame ourselves for the way we feel, or what we believe, for fear of being judged, ridiculed and ostracised. You may say “You shouldn’t care what others think!” And you would be right, we shouldn’t. But that’s the point – we all do. The majority of people fear speaking in public over death, that’s how powerful our fear of rejection and humiliation is and it fuels a great many of our actions. It is my strong belief that judgement, the need to see others as different from ourselves, and the fear of being judged and rejected are at the root of all the violence and terror we are seeing in the world today. Moreover, not being ourselves is EXHAUSTING. It's like trying to hold a beach-ball under water; it's no fun, takes all your attention and eventually it will pop up and hit you in the face. 

Which Would You Choose?

Once I was chatting to a guy who believed all his problems would be solved if he had more money – a lot more money. So I asked him “If I could wave a magic wand and give you all the money you think you need, or I could wave a wand which would ensure that everyone for the rest of your life would accept you exactly as you are without the pressure to conceal yourself, which would he choose?” He immediately chose the money option. However later that day he texted me to say he’d had a change of heart and would choose the other option. He said no amount of money could buy him that kind of peace and happiness. Ultimately we all want to be loved and accepted for who we really are but as we are judged in childhood, the painful wounds we endure mean that we in turn judge and criticise others. Get them before they get me. Isn’t that the foundation of bullying in schools? 

Young Love

Humiliation is a powerful tool used to control others, to make them conform and to do our bidding. We are not born judgemental or critical of others’ differences. My nephew who is just about to turn one has no concept of “the right” people to associate with, “the right” football team to support, “the right” political party to vote for or “the right” people to love. His friend at daycare is a beautiful black girl, with big brown eyes who is a year older than him and great fun to play with. That is his reality, that is what he sees and he cries when she has to go home. He loves her and sees only goodness in her. He has no bias because his parents have not projected bias onto him. They delight in the fact that he has a new friend as much as he does. But give it time. If these little ones remain friends, the stares will come and the comments will be made even if they are just playful banter like “oh he likes the older women!” wink, wink or “Come on now, big boys don’t cry”. Very soon his own rule book will be written for what is acceptable and what is not. This is part of the human experience at this time. We can’t escape it. 

More Similarities Than Differences

What if we taught our kids to look for and appreciate what unites us rather than what makes us different? After all isn’t that the truth? We all hurt, we all cry, we all grieve, we all love, we all laugh, we all die, we all make mistakes. Does it really matter what country we come from, what God we worship, what our sexual orientation is, what football team we support or whether we want to be a member of the EU or not? What if we all had the courage to step out of our individual closets and gave others the freedom and safety to do the same? Already I can hear you say “we can’t let everyone do what they want, the world would end up in chaos!” Isn’t the world in chaos already? Isn’t that reaction just another one of our judgements fuelled by media, brainwashing and popular belief? Anger breeds anger, fear breeds fear, violence begets violence. Trying to change another to see the world as we see it doesn’t work; just ask anyone who is married what has happened when they’ve tried to change their partner – the partner has become angry, resentful and dishonest. Intimacy and connection flies out the window. We can't change others, we can only change ourselves.

Depression is the Opposite of Expression

I truly believe that all the horror we are witnessing today is as a result of people not being allowed to express their own Inner Truth. Suicide, terrorism, mass shootings, racism, hooliganism, bullying, abuse are all by-products. You may think this has nothing to do with you because you don’t partake in such atrocities. Maybe you use distractions like food, porn, alcohol, drugs or Pokemon Go to avoid the truth of who you are.  What happens when you force a wild animal into a cage or to go against its own nature? It either becomes aggressive or it becomes depressed or it develops repetitive behaviours like swaying or pacing. We are no different.  On a side note, Alan Cohen says depression is the opposite of expression. It’s the best definition of depression I’ve ever heard. 

Holy Shift!

We need a shift, a change in perspective, if we are to see positive change in this world. Not everyone was born to be a Mother Theresa or a Gandhi but we can start with ourselves and with our kids. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s not easy. Until recently I was an extremely judgemental human being and that hasn’t changed overnight. It still pisses me off when drivers don’t indicate or cyclists don’t respect traffic lights or politicians do anything quite frankly ;-) It’s a work in progress. I’ve found the first step is not to judge or shame myself for being judgemental. Awareness and a willingness to change are all that are needed.

If we want to liberate societies we need to first liberate our minds.

What is happening on the planet is overwhelming and it can seem like a Herculean task to create change. Nevertheless I think back to when I was younger and every public area was filled with cigarette smoke. It was my worst nightmare and I remember thinking this will never change, I’m going to have to live on a deserted island to escape it. Look at where we have come since then. Something that seemed so impossible has become a reality and no wars were needed to achieve it just a change in consciousness, just a shift in people’s perspective.

The Spirituality Closet

Today I am coming out of my own closet - the spirituality closet and I urge you to do the same when it feels safe and right. Your closet may be a different one but it may be just as scary, or even more so, to contemplate. However as we all come out of our closets, we give others the courage to do the same and that can only be a good thing. The real terrorism on the planet is the terror of being ourselves. All other acts of violence are manifestations of our self-hatred and self-condemnation. This is what Buddhists have been promoting and teaching for centuries; oneness, self-love and compassion. Easier said than done but perhaps this is what we are all here to learn.  As the aforementioned spiritual teacher Alan Cohen also says “The ego loves its comfort zone, the known, no matter how miserable it makes us.” 

So what about me and God?

Am I joining a convent or a cult? Am I going to go door-to-door bible bashing? I am becoming a Wiccan witch or running away to an ashram? The answer is none of the above. The simple truth is I love God, not the religious kind just my version of God (and I natter to angels too!). I have been interested in all aspects of spirituality for as long as I can remember. That is my Inner Truth and that makes me happy just like my nephew loves his new friend and that makes him happy. Embrace your truth, live life in accordance with it, be happy, let others do the same and let’s see where that takes us. What we are doing now is not working so what do we have to lose? 

As John Lennon once sang “You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one…”

 Ok, you can go ahead and unfriend me now! :-D

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Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical expert of any kind. All of the information contained in this website is based on my own opinions, personal experience and research.

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